Dreams still come true

Dreams and miracles still come true even in these wild and seemingly forever pandemic.  We are heading into nearly a full year of this shelter-in place and I've been honestly too overwhelmed to pause and celebrate the birth of Jojo's full biological brother into this world!  There is just no excuse!

Brandon, Jojo's younger brother arrived three weeks early in Spring of 2020 weighing in at 7 lbs, 7 oz, and 20.5 inches.  He was born a very big younger brother to say the least.  Comparing newborn photos side by side, one would think they were practically twins!

How did this happy ending story begin?  My IVF journey continues with four extra Grade A boy embryos after conceiving my sweet, perfect Josephine in July 2017.  Nearly four years later, while I am still uncertain if I can physically, mentally and financially raise a second child on my own, it was clear that I will NOT need all four embryos at any point of time or pay to keep them frozen forever.  I had several choices what to do with the remaining unused embryos - to discard,  donate to research, or donate to a family in need. Understandably the concept of donating to another family can be daunting but the decision for me came very easy. 

I have always wanted to be a mom since I was 12 years old, and I am ever so grateful that I had found the perfect donor to help my own dreams come true.  I look at my daughter everyday and am often in disbelief of this incredible gift this donor gave to me.  The feeling is transformative and intense.  Donating fertility help is an ultimate act of love and I could not think of a better way of paying it forward and helping another deserving human experience the same pure joy and happiness of becoming a parent.

I met Brandon's mom through a mutual friend in early 2019.  I was aware of her fertility journey as a "Choice Mom" and her decision to adopt an embryo as the next step. There's no easy, fluid manner to introduce two strangers about a possible known embryo adoption but after some exchanges, we were both down to business drafting up our legal contracts with our family attorneys.  The legal paperwork was a chore but much needed for both parties' liability protection. Everything thereafter felt right every step of the way, and I feel blessed to be part of their story.  I know he will be loved and have a happy future. Brandon is lucky to have such a brave, strong, and resilient woman as his mom.  

Single moms are most definitely exhausted and time-starved but single motherhood during this pandemic has made it exponentially much harder.  I had so much support and daily visits during Jojo's first year and still struggled most days.  I can't imagine the mental and stressful load of being fully isolated while caring for a brand new infant during a global health crisis. Covid-19 has indeed kept us from meeting Brandon in person but we can't wait for our first meeting and the chance to build upon our "unconventional" family and create some wonderful memories together.  

Some have asked how I feel about having a full biological child in this world who is not truly my son. My position is that it's not about me. It's about opening your heart and mind. It's about the journey of life and giving someone a chance. Most importantly, it's about having a direct meaningful life-long impact.  I would do this again for the right family in a heartbeat.  I have zero regrets and hope my personal experience will help others decide to donate embryos to families in need.  

Thanks again for being here and reading our story.



  1. Hello there! I found your blog article while researching private adoptions and am seeking guidance on how to go about it. My current situation is that my ex-fianc√© have 5 embryos, 3 boys and 2 girls, and with so much of life happening, we decided to amicably part ways. We originally looked at embryo donation and we were underwhelmed by the experience…and options for adopting parents. We want to give our children the best chance at life and that clearly wasn't it. Would you be open to connect? I love your story and you're the closest person I've found who's gone through what we're trying embarking upon. ~ Erin

    1. yes! feel free to send me an email at oaklandchoicemom@gmail.com.


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